@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.
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@justabloodygame: As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. "U2, Brutus?" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away.
@justaride: I accidentally answered the phone with my last name and got promoted to homicide detective
@NYC_Blonde: Billion dollar idea: Tea bags that are actually wine bags. Slogan: You already act like you're God, now turn water into wine like Jesus!