@TheSwanDon: Communists only write in lowercase letters because they hate Capitalism.
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@NurseMurderer: Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years.
@Steelers1972: I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@DanLaMorte: Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning