@markleggett: Companies want "rockstar" employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment.
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@Book_Krazy: [A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank] Why do you think people hate us so much? "Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."
@iGreenMonk: Sometimes I try to eat healthy but my stomach's like "what if you die tomorrow?" and I'm like "good point" and I have a whole pizza.
@DanMentos: Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto
@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.