@markleggett: Companies want "rockstar" employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment.
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@jwoodham: Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters.
@yoyoha: STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life
@iamburtjarvis: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?
@iwearaonesie: Give your kid a phone so they can call in case of an emergency or tell you what they want to be for Halloween or say they saw a squirrel or