@burntmybagel: Company loyalty can often be explained by Stockholm syndrome.
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@jedfudally: childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is
@TheTweetOfGod: Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, today must be the National Day of Disappointment.
@1_swarthy_dude: Boss:"I'll need those projections done Aesop!" Me:"You mean ASAP?" Boss:"No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."