@iwearaonesie: complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories
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@foodfacenow: Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean
@rocknthepurple: I just wish I had someone who wanted to touch me as much as my shower curtain does.
@YUCKYBOT: Can you guys give me the names of some famous athletes and prisoners? I'm making a pros and cons list.
@LOsepyan: I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day