@AHMalcolm: Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don’t worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about
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@nopoweradeinusa: parties in 2004: I hope I don't get drunk and tell mindy I like her parties in 2017: I hope this beer company doesn't support genocide
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy.
@Marlebean: Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!
@geekysteven: Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.