@MMFlint: Conan: The US is on pace 2 b the world's largest producer of oil. So if history has taught us anything, the US will soon be invading the US.
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@Underchilde: Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself.
@HallpassCanada: For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be.
@ShanaRose21: Imagine if Trump becomes President and we are invaded by aliens. Alien: Take us to your leader. America: *Looks ashamed* Are you sure?