@SoulYodeler: Concussions are like pineapples: what was the question.
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@better_off_dad: It's not considered 'people watching' if you do it through their bedroom window, apparently.
@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
@SortaBad: You're drunk and trying to outrun the cops on horseback but they eventually catch you because it turns out you're just on a carousel
@UncleDuke1969: Me: I have NO drafts! Wife: *opens window* Me: ... Wife: *opens door* Me: ... Wife: That better? Me: I should have married your sister.