@UNTRESOR: Condoleeza Rice's less successful sister is Apartmentleeza Rice.
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@MomOfTeen: Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .
@MableGertrude: I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese.