@KCCOTyler: Condoms prevent minivans.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm so confused when the TV voice before a show I'm about to watch says, "For mature audiences only." Can I watch or not?
@jctwritesstuff: You ever randomly hear your mom singing 'Candy Shop' and then die a little inside?
@TheTweetOfGod: Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
@LoveYoorFate: It's like my Uncle said, no body, no crime Coworker: I only asked how your weekend was...