@KCCOTyler: Condoms prevent minivans.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
@topaz_kell: [job interview] Interviewer: "Do you have any questions for me?" Me: "How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?" Interviewer:
@Thedudish: That awkward moment when your girlfriend is looking up for a noodles recipe on your computer and opens a file called "Asian."
@sozjalltheway: So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy