@omgthatspunny: Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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@WilliamAder: I stopped carrying my phone in my shirt pocket, because every time it vibrated my first thought was: Heart attack!
@noog: *opens facebook messenger* *sips mtn dew twice* *strokes neckbeard* *begins typing* Sorry abt ur mom dying Tis a shame Btw ur attractive
@13spencer: I keep having to remind myself that an "oral history" is not nearly as exciting as it sounds.
@funnol: sure you can PAY for a professional photographer, OR you can just lie spread out in a field until 1 finds u and just starts taking pictures