@msdanifernandez: *conducting job interview* And what would you say your biggest weakness is? Other than that haircut.
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@Burnam1: Paranormal activity camera 3:33am... Only catches me eating a chicken leg while doing the robot in my underwear.
@Cheeseboy22: I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
@Dildotron: [planning for wedding] i found us a remote location "Omg where?" *points to fanny pack stapled to wall above TV* The remote goes there now