@msdanifernandez: *conducting job interview* And what would you say your biggest weakness is? Other than that haircut.
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@salmarch79: A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.
@SamGrittner: *goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* "Give me the hard stuff." *hands over bag of croutons*
@daveexplosm: The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too.
@illiter8too: Hey boy, are you a fitted sheet? Because you're complicated as hell and hard to manage, but I definitely want you on this mattress.