@NotThatNixon: Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese.
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@hippieswordfish: 'sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.' what, am i supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
@ComedicBust: We kissed. We undressed. I felt her heart beat. I used her bathroom. I saw Colgate toothpaste. I left. We never spoke again.
@mattZillaaaa: [street fight] Come at me bro!! *guy rips off his shirt revealing bulging muscles *I rip off my shirt revealing another shirt & run away
@mamatomy3: My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He's told every other person on earth and I didn't want y'all to be out of the loop.