@NotThatNixon: Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese.
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@sixfootcandy: ME: Hi. I'm in the gym parking lot. HUSBAND: That’s great! Are you finally working out? ME: No. My car broke down. Can you come pick me up? This place is really scary.
@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
@WilliamRodgers: [Bruce Willis on his deathbed] Bruce: Viagra! Dr: Bruce this isn't the time- Bruce: Give me...a Viagra! Dr: Ok *Bruce Dies...Hard*