@TheTweetOfGod: Confession: the entire time when I was forming the earth, I was using asteroids.
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@TheTweetOfGod: I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.
@enclaire: Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future.
@downfront: Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, "Oh, hell no."
@noog: The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet.