@DanMentos: confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [soldier dying in my arms] "You take this & you give it to my wife." "No [pushes watch back to soldier] she lives really far away from me."
@jordanalexissss: sober in uber: please stop talking to me drunk in uber: ...and that Mike, is why I'm emotionally unavailable I suppose.
@MatCro: ME: I'm off to that meeting BOSS: Forget something? M: Yes! [kisses boss gently on forehead] B: I meant your pen [whispers] but thank you