@VaguelyFunnyDan: (confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does "Single Ladies" dance)
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@KrunkedRobot: My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
@undeadmolly: My parents are always pestering me to have kids. "Who will carry on the ancient family curse?" they say.