@WheelTod: Confuse future archaeologists by burying human bones as if they're riding dinosaur skeletons into battle.
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@topaz_kell: To the person who honked to get me out of my parking space faster, thank you for inspiring me to delete 3000 emails right here, right now.
@daemonic3: Is this your resume? "Yep" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away "Oh yes" Welcome to UPS!
@ericsshadow: [phone rings in 1984] "Eric get the phone" Hello? "Tell em I'm not home." She's not home. "Ask who it is." My mom wants to know who this is.