@huntigula: confuse your coworkers today by telling them you're going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
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@michaelianblack: If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are.
@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
@PaperWash: Dentist: ok open up "Well I guess it all started when my dad left..." Dentist: no I mean- Assistant: wait bill...let him finish