@DancesWithTamis: Confuse your least favorite person at work by moving in slow motion when they're the only person watching you
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@Reverend_Scott: Welcome back to Taco Addicts Anonymous. Congratulations everyone here on stayin clean for 4 months and- [loud crunch noise in back of room]
@robdelaney: Tim Cook announces iPhone charger cord to be long enough to reach a socket, Apple stock price quadruples.
@Donna_McCoy: If your family goes to church on Christmas morning, be grateful. This may be your only chance to lock them out of the house.