@awkwardphilippe: Confusing prank: Obtain a grizzly bear, name it Love then call 911 and say that Love is tearing you apart
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@MeetingBoy: "A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat." I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email.
@sploosk: INTERVIEWER: says here you were fired previously? ME: yeah, I tried putting pizza in the copier INTERVIEWER: [excitedly] did… did it work?
@WheelTod: Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't remember where I live.