@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
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@VeryLonelyLuke: I've been yelling for years. Now I'm convinced. I'm definitely the only one here playing Marco Polo.
@chuuew: [Dinner with family of Owls] ME: Want me to say grace? DAD OWL: No. We don't do that M: I thought you were- D.O: Pls don't M: birds of pray?
@ch000ch: it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head.
@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak