@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LurkAtHomeMom: If anyone has a solid 3 hours on their hands, my 6 year old has a story about Pikachu he'll tell to anyone who is willing to listen.
@rolldiggity: Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles.
@DosieDoe: US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today.
@ericonederful: Pastor: pray for your enemies. Me: Dear god, please kill all of my enemies. Pastor: no! Not like that! Me: too late. I already said amen.