@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
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@KalvinMacleod: I wish someone would leave a horse’s head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head.
@gf3: me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows *gingerly taps banana*
@TylerLinkin: 1. Rent storage unit 2. Procure 3 bodies at morgue 3. Place bodies in storage unit 4. Stop making payments 5. Wait. Best Storage Wars Ever
@Mr_Kapowski: Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock knock joke