@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
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@KenJennings: Parenting is all about wanting to say, "No one cares, honey" 100x a day AND NEVER DOING IT.
@farleftcoast: For Christmas this year I'm going to pay my bills and look at pictures of Europe and cry.
@juneohara65: The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.
@rachaelkelly18: The lady at the bakery who draws her eyebrows on is looking extra surprised today