@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
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@2tickytacky: If mobile wallets do away with credit cards, they'll need to come up with an app that can scrape my windshield.
@bornmiserable: ME: Avenge my death CO-WORKER: That's just a paper cut ME: [coughs, grabs his collar] DON'T YOU NORMALIZE THIS
@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.