@YoungNobler: Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien.
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@b0dymassage: 'Joe whats that package ya got today?' "ITS MY BOOK ABOUT CLOCKS. I ORDERED IT LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO" 'Well its about time, right?' "RIGHT"
@Tmoney68: 11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter.
@JElvisWeinstein: Just because I quit smoking doesn't mean I gave up getting up and randomly leaving the room for 10 minutes.