@bromanconsul: congrats to those who made it onto my "Not A Lizard" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum.
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@_NinJar: [Dr.] "Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* "Don't do it" *eats cheese* *dies*
@Eightinchgoat: Fun trick: Handcuff her and tell her you're taking her to 50 Shades of Grey. That way she can't escape when you go to The SpongeBob Movie.