@DamienFahey: Congratulations, Americans who write "Cheers" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than "Sent from my iPhone"
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@JRobb773: Sorry, pal, but you’re not the first guy who has tried to lose me inside a haunted house.
@hazelmotes1: I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery
@ermahgarton: bae:come over me:The Incredibles is on tv bae:my parents aren't home me:it's limited commercials bae:i need u me:he can't find his supersuit