@Dr_awfulpants: Congratulations on "obtaining" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge.
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@RandomAntics: My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.
@euanDroberts: And the Lord said to Peter "come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Peter came fifth and won a toaster.
@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.