@UnFitz: Congratulations on your gold medal in the conclusion jump.
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@Kalarlis: holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?
@OutOnTheMoors: Pro Tip: If you're on a fishing boat and someone calls you Chum, they're probably not being friendly.
@ericsshadow: [first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone
@SortaBad: "We need to kill the terrorist NOW" But how.. "The human body is 70% water" Jesus, you know what to do *terrorist dies of alcohol poisoning*