@AdamTheLobster: Congratulations to our winner, Todd, who correctly guessed there were "hella jellybeans" in the jar.
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@CorkyKneivel: Pretty messed up that every year I swallow 8 spiders. And none of them ever call me again.
@ndiquote: My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten.
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...my trench coat? HR: Try again. Me: Because I'm naked under my trench coat?