@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.
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@ruinedpicnic: parent: why did you do this to my child willy wonka: well you see they tried to eat some chocolate on a tour of a chocolate factory they won
@KeetPotato: "chill before serving" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."
@bea_ker: [guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy.