@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.
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@kimtopher22: I saw death today, in the face of the man at the next table, as I heard his wife say "I don't know, do you THINK I look fat?"
@ojedge: [job interview] Interviewer: "Describe yourself in 2 words." Me: "Atinubs. Econsibu." Interviewer: "You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."
@beefman138: Creature from outer space tries to elude financial officer who wants his money back. - Alien Vs Creditor.