@TheKrisWilson: Considering "Thank You" cards are a thing, I'm going to invent "No, thank YOU!" cards and people will send them back and forth forever.
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@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
@TheMichaelRock: *puts on shirt* *shirt rips because of my muscles* *gets yelled at for ruining 5yo's shirt*
@ProdigyNelson: [aquarium] Me: "That's a lot of octopussies to occupy a tank." Guide: "it's octopi." Me: "Oh..that's a lot of octopussies to octopi a tank."
@moose_chocolate: I bet a cool thing would be to play musical chairs using toilets and call it "Game of Thrones".