@TheBoydP: Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don’t they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?
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@jjhartinger: A telemarketer called and said,"can I speak with the man of the house." I replied, "sure" and gave the phone to the cat.
@flaskofwhiskeyy: My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup.