@TheBoydP: Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don’t they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?
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@kcmoore51: 11: You know what would be really ironic? Me: No, what? 11: If someone died in their...living room. The Twitter is strong in this one.
@neiltyson: Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat.
@HeyZeus666: I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits.