@johntabin: Contemplating the merits of the Oxford comma as I head down to Florida to see my parents, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio
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@trentistweeting: [turning off Shrek 2] well, i'd say that movie was shrekcellent! "trent, 1 more shrek pun and i'm divorcing you." oh karen, don't ogre-react
@julie2288: I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her.
@HarryRamble: I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.