@Mr_Kapowski: Contrary to what my voicemail will lead you to believe, I am in fact not sorry for missing your call
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@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.
@TimB5150: I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!
@petemandik: [touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.