@Mr_Kapowski: Contrary to what my voicemail will lead you to believe, I am in fact not sorry for missing your call
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: Have you seen my curling iron? Me: ...umm, are you talking about the hotdog bun warmer? Wife: ... Me: No, I have not seen it.
@1slowery1: *Creates Animals* God: They're magnificent. Angel: Some of ur best work. Man: Which ones go on pizza?
@AristotlesNZ: Apparently, "Dude, that's the best she's EVER going to look" was not the type of objection to the marriage the priest was asking about.