@CornOnTheGoblin: Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home
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@urfavoritejoel: Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside
@IamEveryDayPpl: Prius and Smart Car owners in my neighborhood got together and banned leaf blowers for safety reasons...
@GuyThe_Guy: They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to kids: "Yes, I'll play, as soon as I finish my coffee." (Genius! We all know parents never get to actually finish a cup of coffee.)