@WildeThingy: Conveniently, the sound from their early Saturday morning lawn mowers covers the noise of my sniper rifle.
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@Robert_Beau: Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow
@liv_thatsme: There are so many scary things in life: -fear -hate -murder -injustice -the woman in line behind me who just said "boughten"
@iwearaonesie: complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories