@Fred_Delicious: Cool prank: lead 50 pugs to the top of a waterslide & send them down 1 by 1 as the parents waiting at the bottom get increasingly confused
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@JayUhOh: If you're out and you see a donkey, say "hey, come here donkey." He might not come but if he does, free donkey
@Julie_McGann1: I'm off to a 3yr olds party. There'll be tears, tantrums and throwing up on the carpet. But enough about me, Im sure the kids will have fun.
@neiltyson: Because you know I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble. I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble.
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy