@JeremyPoxon: [cool youth pastor voice] let me tell you the story of another special boy who miraculously left a cave
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@PajamaStew: Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me.
@CraigBanksArt: Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon
@randomlawless: My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to "work her core." I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win.