@pragmatistic: Cop behind me just turned. Best unfollow ever.
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@TheAlexNevil: According to the latest statistics, most accidents with toasters and bathtubs happen at home.
@LaziestCanine: Murderer: IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU Me: wow your hands are so soft Murderer: omg really Me: [caresses his hands] what moisturizer do you use
@Merman_Melville: Moby-Dick is cool if you like stopping in the middle of a story about murdering a smart whale to think about all the different kinds of rope