@pragmatistic: Cop behind me just turned. Best unfollow ever.
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@TheresNoGodzila: When I see a kid on a leash I assume they were a dog turned into a kid by a witch & the owners have yet to figure out how to turn them back.
@BrettDruck: I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn't Tobey Maguire
@StephenBCramer: I installed a mirror in front of my toilet so that when I run out of things to read I will have someone to talk to.