@Fred_Delicious: *cop bursts into bathroom*
"KID DON'T FLUSH THOSE DRUGS!"
*toilet is wearing shades*
"damn. we're too late"
*toilet rides off on motorcycle*
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@OnBeingHer: 6: I'm going outside to play. Me: Stay in your own yard. 6: Define "my own yard" Me: .... have fun. So her mother's child.
@AllyBallyBeal: I tried dusting after five energy drinks now my house is on fire.
@Asbo_Unicorn: I'm not apathetic, I prefer emotionally constipated.
@better_off_dad: *at the confessional Priest: .'..and do you repent? Do you plan to repeat these sins?' Me: 'You mean, like, ever?'
@smithsara79: Me: Hey Mom! My mom: Oh haha I get that all the time Me: Wha- Definitely my mom: *walking away from me* Just one of those faces, I guess!
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