@EndhooS: Cop: can you describe the man who stole your watch?
Me: Yes, he had exceptional taste
@Darylch: Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I'm from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning.
@icrushedmyhalo: I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
@AntF3ltz: When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo.
@ClaytonSykes: Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself.
@SunnySideUp1987: Not to brag but I can produce cute children. DNA and all.