@EndhooS: Cop: can you describe the man who stole your watch?
Me: Yes, he had exceptional taste
@envydatropic: What personal space?
@TheIronSherk: Eating a block of cheese is probably the most delicious way to figure out it's time to get some groceries.
@krisv_723: Everyone on FB is posting the status- I voted. I guess it's truthful Tuesday so I posted- I once killed a hobo & hid his body in a barrel.
@thejessbess: Shout out to sidewalks.
Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
@Busocco: A free corpse is a dead giveaway.