@Steelers1972: Cop ~ Do you know how fast you were going sir ?
Me ~ Uhhh .... Roughly about the same as you
Cop ~ Get out
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@er0tikka: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn.
@dave_cactus: [at Red Lobster] WAITRESSES: *run toward me* ME: Red Lobster! WAITRESSES: *stop* ME: Green Lobster! WAITRESSES: *run* MANAGER: Okay, SIR...
@Marlebean: I'm "don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you" years old.
@The_Rain_Man_: I just saw an honest political leader, riding a unicorn.
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