@DiamondGirl127: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over ? Me: You wanted to watch me lick my ice cream cone ? Cop: Just go please
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@Jandalize: There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.
@LexReturns: The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later.
@13spencer: A San Francisco man is running seven marathons in seven days on seven continents; he’s expected to be seven times as annoying about it.