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@Home_Halfway: COP: Freeze!!!
EXCEL: LOL no problem
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast?
Wife: Ok, let me shower first.
*showers, dresses & puts on makeup*
Me: Where should we have lunch?
@SCbchbum: If you want to hear an elderly couple arguing for 2 hrs about whether they closed their garage door, go to a movie at 11AM on a weekday.
@BuckyIsotope: I’m listening
@JoshuaHvr: Why would a straight guy hate gay guys?
Here's a group of men who look better than you.. but don't even want women.
You should be glad.
@meatlobes: Michael Cera pretending to read the nutritional facts when his dad catches him struggling to open a jar of pickles