@DaddyJew: Cop: license and registration
Me: nice try, I don't have either of those
@OutOnTheMoors: Don't worry, people who are sick of political tweets, every horror movies needs a few "Nah, it's nothing" types to raise the body count.
@Just_Lee_: A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
@BumbleDC: *accidentally summons malevolent demon at a séance*
I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER!
[4 days later]
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY
@KeetPotato: "this has never happened before"
is that a yes or no?
"let me check"
[talks into radio]
"steve can we let a dog on the rollercoaster?"