@NoogsCorner: Cop: You been drinking?nnMe: No.nnCop: Say the alphabet backwards.nnMe: Alphabet the. nnCop: Hilarious. Say each letter.nnMe: Each letter.
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@FuckabillyRex: "Sorry, I have to take this call." "That's a banana. And it's half eaten." *covers banana with hand "I don't tell you how to do business."
@roostermustache: Me:*runs into woods* ahh I'm gonna get killed by the clowns Clown: nah we just want to scare people Me: oh. can u make an exception for me
@ericsshadow: What kind of deranged lunatic gets home from a long night at the bar and eats a piece of fruit?
@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.