@ch000ch: cops at DUI checkpoints should just check to see if u texted ur ex at some point throughout the night
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@MollySneed: [first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.
@PopSlapFunk: *Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your--" Rapunzel: "I have a boyfriend." Dragon flying by: "BURN!!"
@Connan22: I will force my way into an inside joke and kill the fun before I let two people laugh about something I don't get.
@Kennycruzin: When one squirrel says "I like to eat nuts", there is probably always another squirrel who says "that's what she said."