@INDlAN_: Cops call their dogs K-9 because if they call K-10,
then it’s a cat.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you watch Beauty & the Beast backwards a grown man devolves into a monster then into a petulant little boy. It's basically Twitter.
@max_pad21: My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash
@RocketRankoon: No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema
@HRTSMRT: What I say: No!
What my kids hear: There's a really good chance if you keep asking.
@JessObsess: ME: How are you?
"I can't complain"
ME: Maybe you're not trying hard enough