@INDlAN_: Cops call their dogs K-9 because if they call K-10,
then it’s a cat.
@djdarrellripley: Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen?
Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room...
@mxrk: Nice try, poison.
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote
"your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said
"murd3R" she wrote, frowning
@MomOnFire: Big Foot rental costumes are surprisingly realistic and terrifying at 4am around the bonfire at the party I wasn't invited to.
@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.