@Storminika: Cops got new drunk driving tests. There's one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Whoopi Goldberg & ask you, 'Is she attractive?'
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@Fred_Delicious: When my doctor diagnosed me with squid magnet syndrome I had a lot of questi... [a squid hits me in the face at 900mph killing me instantly]
@IrishVin: Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**