@mikeleffingwell: Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate.
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@RealJinjaNinja: Three steps to start a relationship. 1- buy a sheep 2- name it "relation" 3- now you have a relationsheep.
@LukeMones: Just saw an old lady give up her seat to another old lady on the subway...polite or the ultimate shade?
@_NTFG_: If you feed me & have the heat on high, I will fall asleep on you. So to have a much more interesting date with me keep me hungry and cold