@mikeleffingwell: Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate.
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@SoulYodeler: Signs your wife is cheating: 1. Weird cologne 2. Emotional distance 3. Late-night abences 4. She introduces you to her boyfriend
@Carmensadie: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face. Priceless
@msdanifernandez: If you liked "These Boots Are Made for Walkin" youll enjoy other hits like "This Toaster Toasts Things" and "Whats the Phone Number for 911"
@KatrinaGibson13: Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.