@mikeleffingwell: Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate.
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@emilymaej: I told my niece if I cut her open she would just be made of chicken quesadillas and she said if she cut me open I'd just be dead. Smart kid.
@fightforfood: The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die
@krakkenlackin: Critics are raving about Mud. "It's like dirt but wet" says one. "Oh god it's in my eyes" says another