@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!
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@SenatorBigfoot: Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage.
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
@ilovepie84: "LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom.
@DannyEarl: Personally, I think Lance Armstrong should keep his trophies and awards. Last time I rode a bike on drugs I ended up in my neighbors bushes