@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jacob_swift16: Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god
@Prince_Smarming: A co-worker said to me, "Could you be any more annoying?" So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
@markydoodoo: There's "disappointment" and then there's "Waiter walking past my table with food I thought was mine disappointment"
@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.