@ticknada: Cops: You were driving while intoxicated nnMe: I was in no condition to walk
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@SexytotheNorth: *selects Warrant's Cherry Pie on jukebox. *starts dancing on counter top in cafe. *enjoys a piece of hot pie in back of police cruiser.
@Chumpstring: I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place.