@ticknada: Cops: You were driving while intoxicated nnMe: I was in no condition to walk
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@stephenjmolloy: Boss: "Do you know why I've called you into my office?" Into My Office: "Because that's my name?" Boss: "Yes, that's right."
@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@J_Dazzle76: Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it.